Tuesday, 1 May 2012

Injury at a Vintage Fair - oh the horror!

Well Hello... long time no blog. 

This is becoming a rather bad habit of mine. I never could commit to the whole teenage diary thing. I guess the modern day twenty-something cyber equivalent is no different!

So what's new? Erm...

Well, I'm still with my job at a local charity. Still with Tom. Still Hello Kitty/Zombie/Make-up/Pink mad!

I managed to injure myself pretty badly towards the end of March, on what should have been a really awesome day. I have problems with my joints. It's not just a weakness, but hypermobility. This means that where most people's joints will stretch out straight, mine have an extra 10% in their ability to bend backwards. It's worst in my knees, but also affects thumbs/fingers/wrists, elbows and hips.

If you find odd bodily injuries creepy and disgusting (like me, who unfortunately has to live with it anyway!) then you might wish to stop reading and then distract yourself with something cute on the intuhwebz.

I dislocate my knees often. I've been told it's more painful than a break, and that the more times it happens, the more likely I am to do it again due to weakening the ligaments. I've been told a lot of things about my crap body by fracture consultants and physiotherapists. There are several factors working against me to ensure that I am a prime candidate for a fast-track ticket to dislocation station, which I shall now list in a helpful bullet format:

  1. The aforementioned hypermobility. This problem affects the way I stand. I shouldn't really be doing this but it is an unconscious thing - I have to check and correct myself every time I notice that I'm standing like a stork. Which Inotice a lot more now I'm aware of it and worried about it.
  2. Over-pronation of the ankles. My ankle turn inwards. This again affects the way I stand (more on the inner part of my foot) and means that my joints are out of line. My hip, knee and ankle should be fairly straight when lined up from top to bottom - sort of like dot to dot. In fact, when I stand with feet spaced evenly apart under my hips, my knees turn too far inwards. This is why sometimes, when my knees try to escape from the joint, they are only trying to straighten themselves out where my balance and centre of gravity says they should be. Feel like looking up kittens on youtube yet?
  3. I am a woman. Yes, it suck to be a girl sometimes. The female bone and muscle structure is a different shape in respect of hip spacing (wider apart for squeezing tiny human beans out of) and our inner thigh muscles are shorter, which only adds to the knees being slightly inwards. If you are a woman, you probably have a degree of this yourself. Think of a pair of man legs - find a male example for study and comparison if you wish. They are pretty much straight up and down. Now look at your own legs. They curve slightly more inwards from the hips, right? Also, female kneecaps are shallower, meaning they're easier to slip out.
  4. I have dyspraxia. This is not strictly speaking a cause of my dislocated knees, but it certainly doesn't help! One of the problems I get from dyspraxia is that it affects my mobility and co-ordination. In simple terms, I'm super clumsy and awkward to the point of slapstick at times. A lot of the occasions where I dislocate a knee have been because of a slip, trip or fall. Wanna know the story of my latest accident? It's cringey, embarrassing, and a tiny bit scary.
It's not too late to turn back. You don't have to read any further - just click here

If not, read at your own peril...

I was at an event with my charity. It was one I'd been looking forward to for absolutely ages - a vintage fair! The day went fantastically before the accident. I'd been with a colleague to one of our charity shops the evening before to hand pick some treasures - this was something I'd been asked to do because of my keen interest, and it was a complete aladdin's cave moment for me. I found a Vintage working 1940's Singer dewing machine complete with case and accessories! 

I even lovingly washed the crockery, including this beautiful teaset which we later sold to a lady for her wedding reception:

On the day, we set up, and enjoyed the revellers dressed in their vintage finery, and the beautiful setting of the old town hall.

We were treated to music from an amazing swing trio called 'The Three Belles' and omnomnommed on some delicious cake.

We sold our raffle tickets and a fair few items. When it was my turn to have a lunch break, I was eagerly anticipating a good old rummage through the stalls for some goodies, before my sandwich and mini eggs, when I decided to nip to the ladies first. The gals were queuing to try on some stunning old frocks, and I was itching to go out and hunt for myself.

The next bit is the embarrassing part. I did what I had to do in the ladies, and as I was pulling my skinny jeans back up, my left knee just went. It was truly horrendous at the time. I screamed and collapsed against the stall door, unable to support myself. Now if you've read this far, well done. You are a brave and unsqueamish person. You might not like the next bit though.

Sometimes my knee has more of a half dislocation, or blip, where it pops straight back in of its own accord. When it doesn't, I do it myself. Yes, I know. Cringe. It usually only takes me a few seconds. This time? I was writhing about on the floor with the lower half of my leg out at an odd angle for two minutes. Yes I know some of you may find that sickening. I'm not brave either, I was screaming my head off. I Startled a lot of people. Can't imagine what they thought I was doing in there.

When it was back in, I had a brief window of shock to move. I couldn't get help slumped against the door so I somehow pulled myself back onto the toilet seat, yanked my jeans the rest of the way up for dignity and opened the door. I managed to call for help whilst doing this, and luckily, there was a gentleman queuing for the disabled toilet next door so he could take his young daughter, who turned out to be a doctor.

He felt my knee, advised painkillers and 30 minutes of rest before any attempt to move on my own, and scarpered. My colleague was annoyed and thought that as a doctor, he had a duty of care to those in need. But in a way, I don't blame him. I wouldn't want to interrupt his family day out and I probably frightened the life out of his little girl.

What I found hilarious (much, much later onwards) was a couple of women who had a brilliant reaction to my screaming:

First Woman: "What's wrong, are you alright?"
Me: "I've dislocated my knee!!!"
Second Woman: "Oh my god, are you bleeding?"

I also had to explain to a lot of queuing ladies why I was just having a leisurely sit down while they all waited for a stall.

Anyhoo, it was decided that I was unable to move without assistance, and due to being up flights of stairs in a very awkward location, it ought to be professional! So an ambulance was called for me. I'd only needed a visit to A&E once before. This was my first ambulance ride. I had a first response paramedic turn up first - his name was Tom and he was great. When he went to his car to get equipment, St Johns turned up too. Ian and Natalieann were very supportive and thorough. 

I got given gas and air, which was bloody fantastic. I got pre-warned every time they wanted to move me so I could take extra puffs and go 'super floofy'. I got wheeled out in a funny little trolley with a huge splint on my leg in a vibrant shade of 'look at me!' orange, out into the high street on a Saturday afternoon. Lots of rubbernecking at the back of the ambulance.

As I was (mostly) coherent, I spent some time answering questions before being taken to hospital and going through my usual routine of triage, x-ray, strapping up the knee. I called my dad from the ambulance - that was an interesting phonecall - so that I could get a lift home and some baggy trackie bottoms to cover my modesty.

A month later and my knee feels much better, but still not right. I've got a 45 minute sports physio session on Friday morning and I go on holiday to Spain on Sunday for a week. After I get back, I can finally take the bitch off! Still, at least I get to cruise round the airport on a buggy like the pimpin' high roller that I am.

Strewth, that was a long one. Sorry dudes!

And to think, I was just gutted that we sold Ugly Cat, cause I'd decided I would adopt him...

Ta-ta for now!



Sunday, 19 February 2012

Thursday, 16 February 2012

Clarins 3D Radiance and Too Faced Flatbuki brush

Too pretty! Love them both :)

The powder is very dainty and delicate, with a subtle brightening shimmer.

The Flatbuki brush is so compact and yet still functional, sprinkled with pretty cherry blossoms.

Almost too nice to use?

Ta-ta for now!

Monday, 30 January 2012

Glossybox - Valentine's edition!

For those of you who have not yet heard of Glossybox, allow me to introduce you!

If you're the sort of girl (or guy - there's a male version too!) that likes to feel a little bit pampered, and gets excited by the non-billing kind of post (simple things), then you might like Glossybox.

For a £10.00 per month subscription (+ p&p) Glossybox will send you 5 beauty items. These could include full or sample size products from luxury or cult brands, whether well established or new, all beautifully presented!

I originally signed up for this in December, and enjoyed the Christmas edition. You can specify the kind of products you are interested in receiving, such as skincare, make-up or nail polish. I'm guessing there are manlier options for the guys!

I love the presentation - Christmas had a lovely red box and gold sticker, whilst Valentine's is a gorgeous shocking pink. The boxes are worth keeping too, they almost look too nice to open in the first place...

In my box this month I have received the following treats:

• Eyeko skinny eye pencil in powder pink (full sized)
• F.A.B. moisturising body wash
• Murad Hybrids skin perfecting oil-free primer
• Clarins extra firming day cream
• Clarins extra firming night cream

...and a sweetie!

I've been using the Clarins items for a couple of days and they do make my face feel very pampered! At nearly £50 each for the full sized versions, you'd expect it to.

That's what I like about the Glossybox concept - you can try out great quality stuff that will last all month without forking out loads. The sample sizes are usually quite generous, unless you get the full size! If you like to chop and change and try out new things (or are just fickle with beauty like me) then it will definitely satisfy your cravings. A liitle selection of luxury or fab treats :)

I can't wait for my next one!

Ta-ta for now!

Saturday, 28 January 2012

Hello Kitty Cereal

Tom's mum got me this a few months ago when we went to visit... it tasted a bit too sweet and fruity with milk so I ended up snacking on them like tiny biscuits!!

And they're was a bookmark on the back of the box to cut out yourself! I'm such a big kid :D

Ta-ta for now!

Friday, 27 January 2012


Ahhhhhh! Look how sweet (literally!) these are! Also from Marks and Spencers. Teeny-weeny!

Kawaii Ice Cream Valentine's card!

Hello... long time no blog! Things got a tad busy at work. I stare at a computer screen all day and when my workload doubled I ended up feeling too fed up to carry on being a square eyes at home. I'm used to this and can manage it now, so hopefully I can get back to a routine again :)

I saw this adorabuhlz greeting card in - where else but Marks and Spencers! They do fab cards and I was instantly drawn to this one. It's not that original in it's design in the sense that we've seen images like this before, but I like the unique sleeve/holder with a cute message, and the sparkly bead sprinkles!

I did tell Tom that we shouldn't bother with Valentine's day this year. I bought this for me as a lovely piece of cute! I will probably stick it on my wall, or if I have time, find a nice way of displaying it in a frame. It's almost too nice to scribble in and then discard, and Tom wouldn't appreciate receiving it as much as I would enjoy staring at it!

So happy early Valentine's day to meeee!
Ta-ta for now!


Wednesday, 18 May 2011

My recent embarrassing moments

1) Taste In Music

Yesterday, in a cafe with two colleagues on our lunch break, discussing fave music. Me, Liz, who is a couple of years younger than me, and Pete, who is in his late thirties but is very cool and fun.

Pete: I don't know if you guys know this band from the nineties, they're not very well known here even though they're British but they were big in America. They're called Bush...
Me: Gavin Rossdale!
Liz: Oh yeah, I know them!
Me (Loudly): I LOVE BUSH!!!

cue LOTS of giggles from my companions, and me suddenly realising what I said in a public place.

That left me redfaced, and having to explain to the other cafe-goers that "I meant the BAND, by the way" and was not in fact, a muff-diver. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

2) Stop, wait, just a minute Mr Postman

This morning. Day off sick following terrible evening of uncontrollable shakes and aches, horrendous overnight (til 4a.m.) migraine with violent throw-uppage (yum, sorry) and for Doc's appointment.

Heard post land on doormat. Was getting changed to go to my Doctor's appointment, and peeked downstairs to see what it was. Noticed a package with my name on it so went to pick it up quickly in my bra and knickers. As I reached the doormat, and started to bend down, postie came back. I carried on bending but he must have seen me through the frosted window, the contrast of my pasty body and a blue bra. My only thought was FARK, don't ring the doorbell, cause now you know I'm here I can't run away!* So I stayed squatted on the doormat and a lovefilm disc plopped on top of my head. Cheers postie.

* I seem to have many similar experiences with window cleaners and scaffolders too.

Ta-ta for now!

Thursday, 5 May 2011

Loretta the Ladybug: a rescue!

I got into work at 8.45am this morning feeling cream crackered after going out to a Panic! At The Disco gig last night with Tom (which was ah-may-zing). As per usual I went to the sign-in sheet at reception but I got a surprise today when I saw a gorgeous spotty ladybug crawling between the sheets! I thought I had better move her as it was about to get really busy with lots of people signing in who might accidentally squish her, so I whipped out my P!ATD ticket stub which was still in my bag and scooped her up. The caretaker passed me on the stairs and probably thought I was completely bonkers holding this ticket out and walking really slowly...

I popped her on my desk, went to do something quickly and when I came back she was trying to crawl into my cup that I forgot to wash last night. As I didn't want her to drown in chocolate milk I carefully scooped her out again and went to wash my cup. When I came back she had disappeared :(

I wanted to name her Loretta so I hoped she would reappear later despite searching for her a little bit.

About half an hour later I was staring into space when I saw that something in my pen pot didn't look right... and there she was! I took the opportunity to grab a couple of pics:

 here she is close up: 

 and again scuttling away: 

She's reappeared a few more times, running around on my letter opener. She looks like she's having fun :)

Update: Loretta looked like she had a problem with her wing - the filmy folding wing under the red one was sticking out cnd she was trying to take off but couldn't. She disappeared for several hours. Then at 5pm, as I was about to leave, she appeared on my keyboard...

I didn't want to leave her if she couldn't fly away, so my boss watched me attempt to coax her into a little pot whilst laughing at me for being so attached to her! I took her home, where she met Tom - who is fascinated by insects! As she couldn't fly away from prey I didn't want to put her in the garden, where we have a lot of big bugs and wildlife, so she has a new home in dad's chilli plant, where she will guard against aphids!

Hope you enjoyed!

Ta-ta for now!
Swaf (and Loretta)

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Gonna ride my bike until I get ho-ome!

This year I made it my mission to get on my bike!

Both mine and Tom's bikes were neglected and un-rideable. Tom's was a very good bike he bought from a work colleague second hand for £20, to use to cycle to work. Unfortunately he busted the gear hanger. When we moved to Dartford he was going to chuck it but I convinced Dad to tuck it into the hired van anyway as Dad has a massive load of stuff in the car port (a posh term for an open walled garage) so we stashed it there over the winter.

My bike is the same one I've had since I was about, 12 or 13 I think. But luckily, I didn't grow much, and as I'm only 5'1" it still suits me fine. but my inner tubes and tyre tape were busted. I found another pair in Wilkinsons, but accidentally got the wrong size and when I went back to exchange they'd sold out of the ones I needed so I went back later. Good old Wilko, I think it may actually be my favourite shop - I can't walk past it without going in and grabbing a bargain!

Dad had a poke at Tom's injured beast - his bike is seriously huge!! Luckily he's 5'10" so it's all good (little and large teehee). It definitely needed a new gear hanger so we took the busted one to our local bike place and I would never had guessed how many hundreds of different types of this piddly little thing there are! They all look the bloody same! It cost about £2 more than he paid for the bike but they ordered the right one in, nd the next weekend was the perfect day for our adventure!! Sunny, and hot hot hot!

We cycled around for about 3 hours, going on the roads to the nearby town and exploring the woods, which was lovely and quiet apart from dog walkers and a couple of other hardcore cyclists.

My legs look orange in the second pic because my fake tan came off when I shaved that morning (didn't anticipate shorts weather) so I reapplied it ant it was a bit... extreme. A very friendly dog licked a patch off as well... I hope he's okay :S

There was another cute little doglet laying in a spot of shade the middle of a path near his owner, with his legs stuck out backwards in the way that makes them look like a rotisserie chicken. We had to cycle round him, but he was lovely, his bemused little face made me smile! Thought it rude to take a pic though.

at the time it was too bright to see I'd missed Tom's head completely!

It was a great day although it was my first time riding a bike in about 10 years and therefore the first time riding with traffic. And as Tom had no idea where we were going, I had to lead the way! Nearly pooped my pants in fear. But I made myself go down some steep hills which was fun! I have to say, downhill is definitely better!

I plan to pimp my bike out soon, so hopefully If I get round to it there'll be a blog on that. Might keep it red though...

Ta-ta for now!